I have cellulite…
At first I desperately tried to blame this on my mother.
Me: “Mom, you gave me this…”
Mom: “What?” (Russian accent)
Me: “Cellulite, you gave it to me and now I am a fitness expert with cellulite.”
Mom:“What is cellulite?”
Mom: “Ow, Dasha! Come on.”
Mom taps my shoulder: “Do I have that too?”
And the conversation was over just like that.
Me: “Babe, do you see this?”
Husband: “See what?”
Me: “This…” (I point to the dimple on the side of my left ass cheak)
Husband: “I don’t know babe, you’re perfect”
(note to self, husband did not look up, after 10 years together he has learned how to keep peace in the house- avoid the question at all cost).
I have cellulite…
And I have a Masters degree in Sports Science, 24 Fitness DVDs, over 38 published fitness articles, a black belt in Jeet Kune Do and a brown belt in Brazilian JiuJitsu. I am also a wife, daughter, sister and business owner. And yes, I have cellulite. I also have four deadlines to meet by Monday.
There are greater things to worry about on this earth, believe me, I know. I travel and train and read, I follow the news and I am fully aware that cellulite is not a political platform that anyone is running on anytime soon. But, despite all of that my 83 year old grandmother who survived both Hitler and Stalin still asks me how she can lose the three pounds she gained over winter. In Cambodia I watched a women walk miles for clean water, only to return back to her home and spend a legitimate amount of time putting on her makeup (local pigments from flowers and soil).
Women will be women.
We can run a country, feed our families, give birth, run marathons and still worry about how we look. I can also argue that this is not a bad thing. Many wonderful things come out of our ability to be honest with ourselves, to want to be better, to care. However, like all humans as much as we have the capacity to learn and self improve, we also have the capacity to break ourselves down. While self assessment is an important part of growth, self criticism can be a defining factor in our limitations.
If we don’t change these habits of negative thought now, what type of example will you set for your kids?
Think of the energy you spend thinking about the things you ‘don’t like’ about yourself or your life. Be honest. You can be the most confident person in the world, but still, we are all only human.
Then out of those think about the things you can change, and then, like that dimple on my left butt cheek (I do have more then one), the things that you can not change.
Now correct me if I am wrong, but the things we can change typically have value and potential, while the things you can not change are mainly petty and not as valuable in the scheme of everything else.
So, where should you invest your energy?
When we give life to something it begins to grow. Giving life to new ideas, goals, new routines or interests is crucial for self discovery and personal growth. Focusing in on your weaknesses is also a very important process. In my classes and DVDs I always say that in your fitness journey you will undoubtably find things you are great at: often things you had no idea were your strengths, and you will also stumble upon plenty of things you are ‘not so great at’. Let’s say you are doing one of my DVDs at home, you might find out that you’re upper body is actually far stronger then you thought, but at the same time you might realize that you have bad balance or poor cardio-respiratory endurance.
These are all good things to discover about yourself. These things, your strengths and weaknesses will help you develop a natural process of self improvement. You will use your strengths to your advantage. While being aware of your weaknesses will help you build a foundation to change those and make them better. In the end you will become a fortified individual, both mentally, physically and spiritually.
Now, what good comes out of fixating and obsessing over things we can not change? You can magnify a dimple on your ass cheek into a bad mood, poor decision making, self loathing. Then that process becomes a habit, a contamination of your self and your self worth.
I do understand that you know all of this. But somehow all of us still have the little voice…
So whats can you do? You have to work at it. Practice sorting through your thoughts. Be selective with what enters your mind.
STOP doing the things that are hurting you
Eliminate them once and for all from your thoughts, your life and your routine.
If you limit yourself with negativity “I have cellulite” or “I am not smart enough” or “I can never do that” or “It’s too late” …
then know this:
It’s not what you see that matters. It’s how you see it.